If you haven’t noticed, I’m a 20 year old bisexual United States Marine.
I’ve identified myself as bi for some time now and I have a question for you guys.
Has my being bisexual directly affected your lives in a negative way?
Well, I came out to my mother last year while I was in Comm school in 29 Palms, California. She wasn’t too hot about the idea. She still loves me regardless though. I’m not really sure if she’s warmed up to the idea of it still but judging from the conversations I’ve been having with her recently, she hasn’t. She really doesn’t like the fact that I’m so open about it. She wastes so much energy being so grumpy all the time about the way I respond to some of the stimulus around me.
On April Fools day, I came out to Facebook that I was bisexual. At first I presented it as if it could have been a joke. Later, I confirmed that it was not and I was, in fact, bisexual.
BUT WHY? you might ask..
Well the answer is simple. I don’t give a fuck. Honest, I really do not. What difference does it make if someone knows about who I like? It doesn’t affect my work ethic. It doesn’t affect how I think about doing my job. I’m not in the showers like some booty warrior trying steal your cookies or waiting for you to drop the soap. So really? What could possibly be wrong?
I know I’ve been posting lately that my father has had quite the negative reaction. But I’ll get to that later. What’s brought to my mind right now are some arguments that I’ve heard now and in the past about deviation from heterosexuality.
1. Homosexuality isn’t “normal”.
You can throw all the statistics out in front of my face but that doesn’t mean shit to me. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t. The fact of the matter is simple enough. Deviation from heterosexuality exists. It exists quite often in nature as a matter of fact. Enough to the point where we can even suggest now that it may be biological in nature. If you don’t understand, it means that there is substantial evidence suggestion your sexuality is genetic in nature and that you are “born this way”.
2. According to the Bible, it’s an abomination.
The Book of Leviticus says,
““ …If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads…. ”
However, the same book of the Bible also says that a man who divorces his wife should be put to death. It also justifies the institution of slavery. Modern day Christians however have entirely different viewpoints on these issues. It may be argued that the Bible is being quoted out of context. But if it is necessary to pay importance to the context when it comes to the question of divorce or slavery, why is it also not necessary to pay importance to the context on the issue of homosexuality?
To put it another way, can we please have a non religious argument against it? All I hear about stuff like this is “well the Bible says” or “my religion says”.. all this religious stuff against it. Where are the non-religious arguments?
Here’s one:
3. It’s one of the negative outcomes of our modern society.
Calling bullshit on this one too… Sexualities of all kinds have existed since the beginning. From ancient Roman and Greek civilizations to Asian and African, you name it. Hell, you seen the movie “300”? Spartans. So many straight men right? Wrong. In real Spartan culture, the women used to shave their heads for weddings in order to facilitate the sexual process from having sex with men to going back to women after having been away at sea for so long.
4. Gay couples can’t bear children so their unions are not justified.
SINCE WHEN did marriage happen just for the damn sake of having a child? So you’re telling me that old, infertile, straight couples shouldn’t be allowed to marry either, right? I mean that’s the logic that’s used.
5. Gay parents bring up gay children.
This is the most bullshit statement of them all. An overwhelming percentage of gay parents bring up straight children just like straight people can raise gay children. After all, if you don’t want gay children in the world, stop having them right?
ANYWAYS, now that I’ve done my homework for.. ever. I’ll get to the conversation that transpired between my father and me.
Me: I wasn’t joking when I said I was bi..
Dad: So you’re telling me you’re bi?
M: yes.
D: Wtf? Very disappointed and not very happy. We’ll have to talk about this, but for now I’ll have to have a little chat with your fucking mother while I calm down.
(my parents are happily divorced and HATE each other… every little thing that’s wrong with the world they live in is the others fault.) [also things in parentheses in conversation are me paraphrasing or summing up stuff]
D: (some shit about being careful what I post to facebook)
M: I’m not sorry to be who I am, I’m sorry you’re disappointed though.
D: You don’t even know the half of it kiddo! I don’t wanna hear about nor do I wanna read about your little boyfriends…. why would you marry Beth and put her through the same bullshit your mother put me through!? And if she says that it doesn’t matter, then she gets what she deserves when you get divorced.
M: you don’t even know her so fuck off!
D: (everything affects those around you).. and this is just what every real man wants to hear from their son. ‘By the way dad I’m half a fag!’ It’s because you were a lap baby your whole life.
M: Dad, I was born this way…
D: No, it definitely has to do with how you were raised and being exposed to who knows what! Well good luck, and you’re not born that way Josh, so stop making excuses for your lack of being a man. You are very immature and I would definitely watch you back. Sorry state our Corps is in right now! I’m so ashamed!
M: Wow! Way to back up what you said on facebook. Love you too. Also, what makes a man? huh? the fact he can stick his pecker in a woman and make a baby? Go ahead and CHOOSE to like men then if it’s just a choice and I wasn’t born this way. Go ahead, right now. What’s that? YOU CAN’T?
D: This is all your mothers fault….
M: Don’t you dare fucking bring my mother into this you fat piece of shit.
D: You were never any good at making smart choices huh Josh. You or your mother. I still love you but I don’t agree with you on this. And I will always stand by my beliefs. You have no idea what this has done to me.. I’m going to go now, goodnight ‘sunshine’.
M: Make all the jokes you want. hate me all you want but don’t think for a second that you not accepting me is OK. You can go fuck yourself.
D Your mother is a fucking liar and fucked my life over by making me think she was straight. Then married me only to save face with her family. Now is she an honorable person? To make someone love you only to ruin their life in the end maliciously should get fucked in the ass… Selfish. (think about that shit, watch what you say, you’re not too old to get your ass whooped.)
M: You didn’t pay a single cent of child support for 18 years! You got high, were an alcoholic and got busted down for cocaine! And now YOU’RE some kind of an honorable person? Think about THAT shit.
D: I’m sure I’ll get over it but don’t think for a second that I’m ok with it. Good luck at the next meat rally!
M: You’re so close minded, you disgust me. You really were just a fucking sperm donor. Good luck getting me to come visit. But you wouldn’t want to see some ‘half a fag’ anyways…
D: (your mother was the root cause of all this, what she did was illegal and she won’t see a cent from me for what she did. Your whole family disgusts me.) You don’t have to come visit, i’ll understand. (You got in trouble too, way to show good judgement.) I have to go so I can think straight again.
M: The irony of you not being able to think straight is priceless here. But go ahead, be a horrible human being or whatever it is you to to occupy yourself nowadays.
D: (I’m a horrible human being because you didn’t get the reaction you expected, you still have learning to do, talk to me in another 20 years when you’ve had some life experience. blah blah bullshit)
TL;DR- I have the shittiest father I could ask for and I’m not talking to him for a while.. he’s just an insensitive prick that doesn’t know how to handle being open minded. He hates the fact I’m bi.
Sorry this was so long. I’m sorry my father is such a bigoted and ignorant fuck. I’m sorry I’ve put my life out there and the life of my family out there for you guys to absorb.
I DO WISH TO SAY THOUGH:
For anyone… ANYONE going through any kind of struggle here and now. Whatever the struggle is I’m here for you. if I can get through this, you can get through whatever life throws at you. Care about yourself and others, listen when people tell you they care about you and love you. The ones that know the real you and love you and accept you anyways are the ones worth keeping. No judgements. NOH8.
Never quit, never give up, and as always, keep on being you.
Joshua “Jerseydevildog” Way
USMC
